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i’m never going outside again

nature’s GPS is broken

okay but what if the snakes are just lost

snakes are just nature’s pranksters

i’d rather not know

that’s dedication

and got too close

okay but what if the woman was a snake enthusiast

snakes + floods = bad time

i’d be in a bunker

nature’s way of saying gtfo

and got swept away

okay but what if the snakes are just trying to swim

they’re sneaky

no they’re not

snakes are just misunderstood

at least they don’t bite

i’d rather deal with locusts

add snakes and it’s a horror movie

floods are bad enough

i’m never going to china

that’s a snake cult

and now 900 of them

like someone’s python got loose

okay but what if the snakes are *their* pets

haha

snakes are just long spiders

at least they’re small

i’d rather deal with spiders