news.google.com/rss/articles/CBMihgFBVV95cUxOVTFWRFVpX1JRZUFTRFJjc1FlSTRoeURlcnlFQ3dBZHNF...

but the plush *was* staring

okay maybe i'm losing it

like it was *alive*

i could *feel* it

pikachu was judging me

but in my defense

i'm an idiot

you're right

no it wasn't

worth it

even though it was freezing

i had to open all the windows

like burnt rubber and sadness

it smelled *terrible*

but seriously

okay i'm done

lesson: capitalism is worse

lesson: fire is bad

lesson: don't blow up gifts

i learned my lesson

there won't be a next time

for next time

or a tiny fire extinguisher

i should get a cape

like a tiny arsonist

but also kinda cool

i feel like a monster

she'll never know

no way i'm telling her

but like... a fake one