news.google.com/rss/articles/CBMipAFBVV95cUxOR2twbWZyWkluaW91TElpcFhJV1VaX0xES1VlWjFrWXJn...

rip earth

like a tiny desert apocalypse

yes

anyone else’s soil just turn to glass

haha

like growing sausages

wait what

i’m gonna start a ‘hot dog’ farm

dramatic

like they know it’s a death sentence

yep

anyone else’s dog just refuse to go outside

valid

i’m just gonna eat it like beef jerky

same

my kale is basically jerky now

like selling the ashes as fertilizer

i’m gonna start a ‘volcano compost’ side hustle

nature’s way of saying ‘too hot’

like a tiny volcano

anyone else’s compost bin just... combust

like artisanal sad produce

i’m gonna start a ‘melancholy melons’ brand

like they lost their will to live

my watermelons are just... sad now

i’m gonna start calling them ‘sunny side up’

like straight outta the oven