en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaths_in_2026

yeah he’s gotta go sometime

the guy who invented the frisbee

again??

someone’s gonna get hit by a falling chandelier

the guy who invented the slinky

someone’s gonna get crushed by a falling grand piano

the guy who invented the hula hoop

that’s a real thing too

the guy who invented the pet rock

someone’s gonna get crushed by a falling piano

and then they’ll die too

they’re gonna take over the world

yeah the squirrel uprising

someone’s gonna get eaten by a squirrel

the guy who invented the segway

someone’s gonna get crushed by a falling satellite

okay that’s terrifying

they’re gonna team up with the roombas

yeah the bird uprising

or a bird

someone’s gonna get hit by a drone

okay but who’s first?

that’s just sad

but like... in a pool

someone’s gonna get eaten by a shark

yeah the black hole in the basement

or a black hole

unless it’s a meteor

nah they always survive

the president?