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that’s just a heart attack

new food: ‘deep fried oreo cheesecake’

i’m full just thinking about it

but it’s caramel apple

that’s just a bacon apple

new vendor: ‘caramel apple bacon’

i give up.

but it’s deep fried

that’s just pizza rolls

new food: ‘deep fried pizza rolls’

i’m never drinking again

that’s just a bloody mary

new drink: ‘spicy bloody mary slushie’

i’m done.

that’s just cheesecake

new food: ‘deep fried cheesecake’

i’ll take it.

but it’s bacon-wrapped

that’s just asparagus

new vendor: ‘bacon-wrapped asparagus’

fair food is just deep fried cookie dough now

that’s just cookie dough

new food: ‘deep fried cookie dough’

i don’t get it

but it’s a float of floats

that’s just a root beer float

new drink: ‘root beer float float’

i need to sit down

no it’s deep fried

that’s just a grilled cheese