cnn.com/2026/07/09/health/prevent-parasite-cyclospora

that actually makes sense

...

to sell more canned goods

what if the outbreak is just a conspiracy?

good

okay i'm never touching kale again

that would explain a lot

what if the parasites are just really into kale?

haha

that's a new one

i think i'm allergic to fear now

unless they're the red ones

apples are fine

what about fruit?

deal

let's just eat candy forever

me too

okay i'm officially done with vegetables

that's how you know

exactly

onions don't have eyes

it had eyes

i think i saw a possessed onion

unless they're the ones with the little crunchy bits

protein bars can't be haunted

good call

i'm surviving on protein bars now

okay that's it

it screamed

i just microwaved a sweet potato