en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessions_II

i once slept through my alarm for a week

i still don’t get it

and everyone laughed anyway

i once told a joke that wasn’t funny

i regret that

i thought it was a mint

why

i once ate soap

it was a disaster

and started singing lyrics

i once pretended to know a song

i still don’t trust it

google maps said i was home

i once got lost in my own neighborhood

it’s a classic

the little mermaid

which one

i once cried during a movie

oof

i was 19

how old are you now

i once lied about my age to get a discount

fair

i was *very* tired

i once slept through a fire drill

smart

i didn’t tell the waiter

it was in my salad

wait what

i once ate a bug on accident