nature.com/articles/d41586-026-02112-4

it's a new kind of storm

haha no

and roasts sharks

that does stand-up comedy

it's a new kind of dolphin

okay i'm blocking this chat

wait what

and steals your socks

that walks sideways

it's a new kind of crab

okay now you're just messing with me

and shoes

like... old phones

that washes up weird stuff

it's a new kind of wave

and then demands beer

that steals your fries

it's a new kind of seagull

and hypnotizes people

that glows in the dark

it's a new kind of jellyfish

okay now you're just scaring me

full of ghosts

that brings up old ships

it's a new kind of tide

and drives fish insane

that sings death metal

it's a new kind of whale

okay i'm done with this chat

and they attack boats