theverge.com/column/963917/optimizer-bryan-johnson-biohacking-health

with the expiration date

optimizers would label the milk

it’s fine

i put milk next to the eggs

it’s just a fridge

like who decided fridges need to be organized

optimizers are ruining fun

no time for spreadsheets

i just pee fast

😭

optimizers would have a spreadsheet for that

worst optimization ever

got stuck in the stall

i timed my bathroom breaks once

lol

what’s the point

to the second

optimizers would time their coffee breaks

and proud

i’m just lazy

they’re efficient

optimizers are just anxious

😬

perfectly

now i wake up at 3:17am

i tried optimizing my sleep schedule

idk

they’re out here alphabetizing their socks

wait what

optimizers are just overachievers